pooped,

my gooooodness long day!

woke up at around 8:30 ish to get my blood drawn -_- woopie, ha. this old lady kept talking to my mom about how her doctor is in a difficult marriage and how he's having affairs w/ other women and stuff, idk. seemed as if my mom was actually enjoying her talk with her which is straaaaange but then again its always fun to talk to strangers. a really old women walked in and i overheard her talking to the nurse at the counter that she had 16 days left to live. then she came down and sat next to me while her husband went back to the counter to fill out the forms for her blood test. i was seriously in shock cause i honestly wouldn't know what i would do even if i had 5 years left compared to 16 days. there just wouldn't be enough time! and i felt so horrible for that little old lady with red hair sitting next to me because she probably had a family, a husband, a whole life that she was going to leave. i couldn't imagine what her husband, a little old man, was going through knowing that the one person that you decided to spend your life with is going to leave you forever. but the one thing i'm glad to have seen was that old couple holding hands waiting for the doctor to call her in.

after that, went to ande's to pick her up then we went to mcdonalds w/ my mom and we saw this lady with a dress that was see through! hahahah like it was a teal color, but you didn't even have to look that hard to realize that you could see her black underwear and bra. my god. watch what you leave your house wearing, jeeeez! :) then back to my house and we 'studied'. more like talking about the silliest stuff, and wow. man, i missed her.

decided that we really had to get to work and i had to go to laurens anyway that day so we went to verdugo to pick up lauren and i saw pow pow :) aww so cute. btw pow, if your reading this, my mom thinks your the cutest thing! haha! went to laurens, and GOT TO SERIOUS WORKIN. no kidding man. AND GUESS WHAT?! WE FINISHED ALL OUR NOTES :D

Really really productive day and got a lot in it, i need more of these.

goodnight & goodbye

way back,

"don't tell me you love me unless you mean it, cause i might do something crazy like believe it."

yum

Couldn't sleep a bit last night. It was pretty horrible. Maybe cause I'm not used to my bed or whatever, haha.
Woke up w/ a really bad migraine and feeling all sticky and hot in the mornin. Eeeesh, great way to come back to the good ol' U - S - of A hunh? Naahhhhhhht! Woke up at 11 even though I was supposed to meet up at 8 to get my sceduale, but guess thats gonna be for tomorrow. Ugh, have a doctor's appointment tmr then who knows what. Turns out Saturday-Monday I'll be gone. Road trip/Vegas/family kinda thing I guess. Supposed to go on a cruise to el Mexico but I don't think I could handle alla that.
Almost done w/ To Kill A Mockingbird, and then gonna hafta start on Pride and Prejudice I guess. UGHHHH. SPRITE notes gonna be done w/ Lauren Wednesday I'm thinking? Then hopefully Thursday I getta see Andrea.

1. You're a bad influence, ohmy you are.


xoxoxoxoxoxxoxo!

unpacking,

old grudges and old/new clothes from my vacayyyy!
Was prettty fun and pretty much was the highlight of my summer. Miss soooooo many people no kiddin. Thanks to Andrea I'm all updated on everything :)
Busy week and gonna live up the last week of summmmmmah!

Mon - Errands w/ momma and maybe swim @ saba's?
Tue - AP Euro shit w/ Lauren and letting Andrea copy later! Hahaha / Sceduale pickup maybe
Wed - Free & Sced. pickup maybe
Thurs - Ande comes over
Fri - Pow's birthday?
Sat - Luau I'm guessin.

Have other stuff to do (STATIONARY SHOPPING :D!, hopefully seeing janelle, kevinteeeeekeeeeefaggot, ken, etc.) I'm like 86% content w/ things. Better than when it was allll the way down the scale. As of now, I feel jetlagged and I'll probably fall asleep in front of the computer, ha. kbye

1. I'm glad we're back to sticking like peanut and jelly again! :D
2. I guess we're back to square one.
3. IDK should I make the move first? Don't wanna regret it though. ( girl btw, ha)

delayeeeeed

Raining real hard outside, everythings cloudy, gray skies and gray everything!
Basically theres a typhoon coming, hahahahhahaa
I've only thought there to be earthquakes but that shows how much of the real world I know. So there's like this scale where it tells you how bad it is and yesterday mornin it was 1 and then it was 3 by the end of last night.
This morning I wake up to the sound of my little cousin saying that its up to 8 and nowwwww its 9. Holy shit. I'm scared. What if my plane gets delayed!? What if I can't leave the house?! What if the ocean floods my cousins' s house?! A;SDLKFJA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA MY GOD.

So now its gotten to the point where I'm okay. I really haven't thought about anything this trip but have fun. I'm excited to get back to Earth, I mean America so that I can help Andrea with her AP Euro! -__- hahah kidding. Mmmm but I'm scared for this year. Things are gonna change, lots.

And you've finally shown your true colors and I'm happy that your shell broke, but sometimes its not really for the best. Don't blame me if I'm not the same to you because you aren't either. Someone said that they missed the old Fiona, and I guess, I sorta do too.

Cinco!

Days left!
I wanna go home but I wanna stay. Gonna miss the beach everyday, not understanding what people are saying. bright lights at night, late nights out, cuzzzzzzzos, and most of all shoppppppppping.

oh! Had my first shaving accident yesterday! It hurt sooo bad and kept bleeding for forever. Its on my ankle and hurts like a bitch. Went on a half hour long cable car ride today. Real fun waving to people on the other side as if you know them, hahaha. And officially counted the 7th cute boy today. Not bad not bad at all :)

Its almost 10 right now and I'm up watching Terminator 3 ahahaha. Tomorrow is scedualed for some more shopping and eating. I've gained weight foooooool, no kidding. Everyone heres real small and thin and WHITE.

Alright I'm outttttt. Peace.

halfway cross

the world! and i'm lovin' ittttt.
Forgotten :) and movin on.

and goodbye,

Guess what?! 9 hours and 45 min left til my flight. AS;DFKJ I'm scared. My mom always leaves the house like 4 hours before we actually get on the plane, cause she's always paranoid that we're gonna be late or whatever. So every year we get there 45 hours early. I sit on the seats reading magazines and listening to my iPod while my mom and brother go buy alchohal. No kidding though. She packed exactly 100 pills so I don't get sick on the plan/during the trip. Never go on vacations with me. I'm always a walking disaster.

Yesterday opened my eyes quite a bit. It felt great. Like I feel like I've finally opened my eyes (not cause I'm asian, ha your funny) and have realized so much! All in one day. Who woulda guessed? Figure that nothings perfect if things don't turn out that way, cause things eventually fit together. Leaving for 2 weeks is gonna make figure out quite a lot. Who knows what I'm coming back to? Or who I'm coming back to? But I just need this break. As much as I wanna stay to figure everything out even more than they've been figured, I just need to leave. Gonna miss sooooo many but most def not gonna miss this summer. Aha woooooow.

1. Realized you're the best there is. Nothing can be better than everything you've given me. Thank you soooo much.
2. I'm glad I've helped you through this situation. It was really quite frustrating for me cause I went through pretty much the exact same thing and I know how it feels. Just give it time, cause things will turn out right. "Life Goes On" <- Life motto right?!
3. Not fully satisfied w/ whats going on between us, but you've kept my head up this entire time and I'm gonna give you the biggest hug when I'm back cause that's what you deserve! :)
4. I'm glad we've made peace. Thanks.
5. You're a strong girl, and I put all my trust into you.
6. Sorry that we drifted this summer. But we'll be back to bestfriends in no time, pinky swear.
7. You know you made me tear up yesterday?
8. And last but no least, you. Out of everyone, I'll miss the most. Been through shitloads this year but we've stuck. Hopefully you know who you are and don't ask me about this. But I saw a side of you that I would've never known. I wanna make things better for you, really and I told you what I prayed for. And that was the complete truth. You drive me insane.

RIP PAULIE aka Janelle's bird.

Jeez it smells so good downstairs, I wanna eatttttt! But I'm full cause of the 6 Reese's Pieces I had this morning -_- AHHHH HASN'T FUCKING HIT ME THAT I'M LEAVING! So frustrating, so this is probably my last blog for 2 weeks which is kinda weird cause I've blogged for like every day since I made this shit. And when I get back, bam. Summers over! Well I'm just gonna go pack and eat then I guess nothin much to say. Goodbye America :) Stay good. Don't wanna worry bout you too much.
and goodbye pt. 2 --

Okay, it's bye for real this time. Well I'm leaving in 2 hours. But daaaaamn this hurts and I think I'm only lying to myself when I say I'm okay. You're still dumb, but I'm dumb too. I just have to learn to accept and to forget. Thassall.
Alright bye, happy summer.

leavin on a jet plane!

(well more like a big scary airplane)
ayeyayayayayaye!
Exhausted and sunburnt. That's a big deal cause I'm never ever sunburnt! But I think some on my face and on my shoulders, greeeaaaaaat. Practice was intense. Switched off w/ diff captains and cits, haha Sy's hour was the best hands down :p Gonna miss that boy and glad that we got close. Had ups and downs throughout the day, but most of em ended up turning into ups. Went up to the dance room early and said my goodbyes to mostly everyone. After that bussed it for once w/out anyone for the first time! And walked to Jann's house pulling up my shirt and pulling down my shorts every 3 seconds. Took a shower there and got ready. Walked to the mallll and met up w/ Mr. Kevin Tiqui Faggot and Jeff! Haha Jeff took pretty random pictures of me with his $500 Coolpix camera, hahahaha. Had good talks, caught up, had Pinkberry (saw the cute guy there), talked more. Saw plenty of people that I haven't seen in forevvvvv so that was nice. And AXTON JUELZ just called me and apologized for not showing up when we were supposed to see eachother and have good talks because he had to get ANOTHER tattoo -__- whatever though. Supposedly he's gonna make it up to me! That's gon be hard cause I'm pretty damn picky.
So I'll be gone tomorrow, flight at 11:45 pm. Two weeks. Lotsa sun. Family. $HOPPING. Gone from everything. And hopefully I'll be coming back to amazing things. Buuuuut I doubt it, cause things change big time in just 2 weeks. But ohwell, hopefully y'all update me.

Voice on tape,

It's a crazy world where machines can replace people.
Or people just replace people.

I really hope you can hear me out.
Sucks that they were all lies hunh?

I'm all good though, really. Don't worry bout me.

[21:36] OhDear Fiona: can we be cheesy again?
[21:36] OhDear Fiona: i feel like being cheesy
[21:37] andrea was where: aahhaahha
[21:37] andrea was where: omg yes
[21:37] andrea was where: :]
[21:38] OhDear Fiona: okay
[21:38] OhDear Fiona: :]
[21:38] OhDear Fiona: like alllll my life i thought i was completely innocent, and then highschool hit and i srsly realized im not so innocent anymore
[21:38] OhDear Fiona: and it scares me.
[21:38] OhDear Fiona: i know im growing up and all that
[21:39] OhDear Fiona: but i dont wanna go so fast
[21:39] OhDear Fiona: i wanna be happy, young, free, careless
[21:39] OhDear Fiona: i dont want to be like this =/
[21:39] andrea was where: your flip now!
[21:39] andrea was where: lol
[21:39] andrea was where: random!!!
ahhaha
[21:40] OhDear Fiona: your not helping!
[21:40] OhDear Fiona: hahahahahah
[21:40] OhDear Fiona: i h8 your gutzzzz.
[21:44] andrea was where: :[
[21:44] andrea was where: cheesy
[21:44] OhDear Fiona: well your turn :]
[21:45] andrea was where: i feel like ive changed myself, for someone else. ive lost everything it feels like. no one is the same as they were before. i need to be more invlovled w/god(cheesy to the max) & i needa juss work on me being a btter person.
[21:45] andrea was where: :]
[21:45] OhDear Fiona: haha aw that was cute
[21:45] OhDear Fiona: like i know what you mean. i feel like i've lost myself in order to be so close to another
[21:46] OhDear Fiona: and changed myself even more to fix that
[21:46] OhDear Fiona: and this whole time i've just changed changed changed
[21:46] OhDear Fiona: when really, i had what i needed in the beginning, myself.

Just gets so hard sometimes,

Is everyone supposed to have THAT summer or is it just for those who haven't lived? THAT summer doesn't necessarily mean a good thing either. My minds been everywhere lately and I try so hard to just keep my mind off of everything and just to focus on those who matter, but its hard. Had my fair share of disasters and crisis's this past month and the thing is, nothings really been gained. No need for whining cause nothings going to help. All I have to do is just keep my head up and keep my head straight. Homes not home for me anymore, i don't even know how, but things have changed. I just really want to get out, away away faaaaar away. Well its gonna happen in 3 days. But I can't wait that long. No clue whats gonna happen the 2 weeks I'm gone, but according to someone, things are going to change a loooooot. Time = changes I guess, and I'm really scared about whats going to happen. Because my time is being wasted by the second.

But the thing is I can't wait.

And I don't even think you care.

EDIT EDIT EDIT! ------------------

And so it's done. And so it's over with. And so we've decided. And so it's admitted. And so the truth is out. And I'm ready to look back and move on. And so we'll look back on this and laugh. And so time will takes its toll. And so I'm finished, completely. Not really though.

$1 hoe!

One of the many comebacks KSy had today cause supposedly 'he was on a roll'. Mm currently waiting for Apple Store pictures from Jann! So today was loads of fun and laughter.
In the morning, started w/ 3 laps then went upstairs and learned how to do alla this stuff. After practice Janna and I had good talks and caught up w/ everything. Noticed how much I missed that girl, no kiddin. Soooo frustrated earlier, haha. After that went to Jann's house and waited for her to get ready and everythin. Met up w/ Kevin and bought my Breaking Dawn book :), saw Pow Pow, we all went to Pinkberry and ate ate ate. Mmm then KSy came and we went to Jamba Juice, they got hookups and everythang but it was so sour! Yuuuck. Walked around the mall for a while, went to the Apple store and camerawhored x a billion, pet store, then ate at Great Khan's. Hahahaha it was so piled up. "Edward Cullen's bites" hurt like a bitch man. Busted a mini mission cause we thought we saw some people we knew, but nah! haha. Mom took everybody home and gave lectures in the car to them haha. Well 4 days!

Who knows who's real these days? The people I'd least expect to turn have basically, well turned.

1. You're mothereffin confusing.
2. Chill?
3. Karmas a bitch =/

Hardcore,

studying today w/ Lauren. Basically finished the whole AP Euro packet, hell yes. Only 5 days til I leave so I gotta get everything that should be done and needs to be done, done. Oh my god her house has the best food in the world nojoke. Had spaghetti after practice, then fruit, then red vines, then homemade brownies<3, then some asian cuisine thing, yummmy word.

I'm trying to fight the feeling, but I'm unsure of how much longer I can handle it. Your intentions are confusing, but maybe I'm just greedy =/

So today I fell in love,

with a dolphin! Hahah, dolphins feel like hot dogs.

Woke up at 6:30 to the sound of my mom yelling 'Sea World! Wake up!' Not the best sound to wake up to. Slept the whole car ride there and back and had a really bad headache the whole day. But good family bonding time. Haven't had one in a while!

The coming weeks gonna be busy busy busy!
Don't know what's happening which day, but! AP Euro study date w/ Lauren, chillin w/ Ken and Kevinfaggggggot, swimming day!, Kalyn day, Janelle day, and who knows! All in one week? Sheeesh, only 6 more days til I'm outta here! Booyahhhh.

You've got some thinking to do -- and it seems like you might have to rework some old plans, too! That's cool, because you're always up for a change, and you've got the right attitude for it

That's my horoscope for the day.

-- edit

Btw, KSy beats Sea World anyday.
Happy now?! Your turn :)

Whutta burn,

Burnt tongue, idk why it hurts but it just does. And leaving ice on it just made it a whole lot worse!
Today was quite a stress reliever of everythiiiing! Went to Cue! and saw Batman w/ Andrea. Too bad we both don't have scanners so no Cue pictures up here for a while. SO FUNNY STORY.
I tried to record us taking the pictures and it was all a rush so I forgot my camera in the little booth for like 10 min without noticing. But it was still on record so when we left the booth some random white chicks walked in and were like staring at the camera and talking to it and everything! haha sooo funny.
Butttt Batman was intense. It was really packed so Felix, Andrea, and I had to sit in the center front row! WTF! The last time I sat in the front row was when I saw Maid in Manhatten in like second grade -__- But this time my head hurt so much. But ohmy Heath Ledger still looked cute. So the only upside of sitting in the front row was putting our feet up. But our heads ended up at the bottom of our seats cause our necks were stiff! 'Why so.. serious?!' lmao, good stuff good stuff.
Then H&M , bought a shirt and then Felix got Vans, then we took Andrea home cause my parents friends were gonna eat dinner with us. And now they're at my house and they're gonna sleep over. Alls good in tha hood.





1. How. Fucking. Awkward.
2. Est. last summer bbygirl!<3
3. You made my dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Oh and Seaworld tomorrow with the familia, sorta excited! haha umm well since I took 'SO LONG' to write this blog, KSy said to write stuff about him so here it goes. He's seriously the best person to have nice little talks with while looking for seashells. Even though mine were wayyy nicer! Haha and its also the best singing along to songs you don't know the lyrics to while he looks up the lyrics on his sidekick. He's a dick usually, but still a good friend, i guess hahaha kidding!
Okay wellllllll cheerios!

Oh no you didn't!

Freakin Pow Pow is crazy. He needs to shut up and keep his nose outta peoples bizzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Justkidding, ily. But seriously though, haha

So Good Morning it's Saturday and Lauren's at my house still. Not sleeping over though, but our parents are talking about our futures and their past =/ haha it's been an hour and we were just sitting on the ground for a while, but then we snuck up to use the computer. So anyways! Today was interessssting. Bonded, ate, shopped, talked. Last beach trip today, well for me at least. Only ONE WEEK before I leave. Officially! Well after the beach trip Lauren came over and we ate McDonalds, then went up to my room for a realllllllllllllllllllly emotional/deep/heartfelt talk. Crazy.

So basically we concluded :

People live for the thrill in life. If there's no excitement in a situation, there's basically no point whatsoever to even deal with it. People are like 'me me me' and only care about themselves and what's directly affecting them. I mean, who actually takes the time to help someone for a second instead of just walking away and going on with their own lives? Not saying that we're always there for everyone, but just making the point :)

Guys are sooo much more complicated than they say they are. You never know what they're thinking and its just so hard to keep track cause what if you're losing them and you don't even know it? You don't know if they're repeating the same shit and the same ol' lines to the girl/guy right next to you. (Yeah PowPow) hahahahaaa. But seriously, who knows if they really even mean it these days. I mean words are words but nothing is meant.

" Love and Hate are both strong words; People toss around the words like they actually mean it, so that the word Love doesn't even have a meaning anymore"

One day we're gonna look back at all this and we're gonna laugh about all this and realize that none of this was really worth it. I mean cummmmmon, who cares what she said about you about you liking her cousin's best friend when your other best friend told you that she liked him way before you did and now she's mad cause your dog ate your funnel cake? Dumb.

Looking back at our past, we've grown because every little thing that we do these days matter. We learn so much from our experiences whether they're good or bad, and its necessary for us to go on, cause really, LIFE GOES ON.

Now our parents are talkin bout computer screens, Lauren's dad's nerdy highschool friends, Spanish grades, Math Analysis, Science, boys, and allllllllllllla that 'good' stuff.
I REALLY WANNA SHOWER :(

Okay goodnight! errrrr.. goodmorning.

Buying (hopefully) Breaking Dawn tomorrow :)/today
CAN'T WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
AND TODAY I'M GONNA GO W/ ANDREA TO SEE BATMAN AND CUE!

Kay peace out.