So young,

but it's funny how we think we know everything, when really, we know nothing.

Recap of what happened today:
Last day of summer school, hoorah. Went to class finished up my ugly ass mask and my letter mosaic thingy majigg. Got them both graded and then we just basically chilled for the whole time. Sold popsicles w/ Jessica and Trish during snack and just a mental note : don't ever become anything having to do with sales. Not my thing haha. After that went back to class and everyone order Taco Azteca however you spell that and Duncan and some other football foo's walked into my class and just chilled. Man I love Duncannnnnnnnnn. After school I had to take alla my shit and had to walk around with 54 papers, exactly. Have piano in a few hours, then getting ready for the beach tomorrow. Last one, no more sun :)

I'm super frustrated right now. Things are chill now, but everythings really weird. I'm angry at him for doing that to her. You know who you are, and if you don't too bad. But fuckin shit man. You don't just go about teasing every girl that you like her and alla that shit and then when people least expect it, you're with another girl?! What the fuck. Guys are seriously so messed up today can't even explain and I don't even know myself anymore. So goddamn, who gives a shit.

1. I'm here for you.

7 things

1 day of summer school left
2 minutes til Mom comes home
3 cups of tea just finished
4 times I've blanked out today
5 bracelets on my right hand
6 pages til Chapter 18 of To Kill A Mockingbird
7 times I said 'I miss you' to the same damn person

While we're already talkin bout numbers,
9 days til Hong Kong
15 days til I'm 15.

Just for you,

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG EARTHQUAKE TODAY!
the first i've ever felt in my life, it was amazing.

Doesn't matter anymore
but sometimes it does.
Hi stranger! *Salutes

brb, The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Okay backkkkkkkkk! THAT SHOW DRIVES ME INSANE.
LIKE TELL YOUR MOM ALREADY, JEEZ.

They notice everything
and they spill everything.
Like juice, spill. TRIP!

Sometimes you just gotta live with it, bbygirl.

It gets so hard,

when you don't understand what goes around you, and it hurts the most when the ones that were once closest to you start to drift and somehow you can't reel them back in.
But I'm really happy cause of Ande's text today. I really miss that girl and glad that she's fully back into my life. A little apologizing here and there for everything that has happened these past few weeks, but overall its all ok dokay. But on Saturday we're gonna go CUE! and be CUtE! and watch the Dark Knight (only cause we're like the only ppl that haven't seen it yet) gay =/ but Saturdays gonna be good. So a little update on everything,


My sexyyyyyyyyyy boyfriend right there ^

What I had after practice ^ (Cheeseburger no onions, fries, and a strawberry milkshake)


What I drew in art class today ^

Sooooooo lifes basically ridiculous right now.
I really want a nice long letter that would take me a long time to think and read :)

:/

can't we all just love a little bit more?

Got my head dug deep into To Kill a Mockingbird.

In a game of life,

I will not let a man or any men interfere and fuck me over. If men can be players, so will women. I declare war.

^ Got that from Diana, and damn I agree 110%.

The beach was good yesterday. Mostly cause I actually went into the water and stuff, but it was good. Some stuff ended up bothering me at the end of the day, but I soon just ignored it and looked on the bright side which is pretty damn hard sometimes.
Today I'm gonna go pick up Janelle and we're gonna go swimming with Felix and his friends. Doubt I'm gonna fully swim though, I need to save my skin :( I really want this Summer to be over, nojoke. Or at least I can't wait until August 9th when I'll be halfway across the world which means halfway from this shithole.


See the difference, ugh.

I need to get farther in life.

but hey!

My contacts are hurting, but too lazy to take them out. Watched How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, sucha cute movie. I drew this gas mask guy from an Obey poster today and it came out really good. I was actually shocked ahah. Gonna probably give it to somebody, they better appreciate the hard work and time I put into it! So I decided that my favorite show recently is The Secret Life of an American Teenager just cause it's so dramatic and everything. Plus it makes my mom all paranoid and shit about everything.

I miss :






1. Idc anymore.
2. Bestfriends right?
3. Cry me a river, haha!
4. I love you, truly madly deeply :)

The pressure is on,

I swear once I turn my head, another issue somehow finds a way to get me. Even when I'm not even part of it and I had no intention of ever knowing anything about.. anything. Whatever though, doesn't matter to me. Like what someone said to me today, " If they're going to put everything on you they're not real friends."

On the other note!
Happy Birthday Janelle Rose Tauro - best.
We've been through a lot over this past year/summer and we've gone through things that I can't say I have with most of my closest friends. I can tell you anything and I know you'd understand me 100%. We live by "I never talked about you, and you've never talked about me." All our dumb times and our fake singing, me going to your scary house at 7 in the am, following cute boys, everything. I love you with all my heart, and I'm glad I have you when things are down. Bests forever.

Mmm after school Janelle met up with my and we went to the mall. She walked around the mall twenty thousand times no kidding and ended up getting a cute zebra print top. We walked around some more and then met up with Kitzia and CK (THOSE HOES). haha , we walked to this jewelery store that was givin out balloons and asked for a balloon. The lady made us a big red balloon THAT DIDN'T EVEN FLY! and I named it Clifford the Big Red Dog! Hahah. After that Charlene and Kellie came and we walked to CPK. At CPK we met up with Jann, Patrick, Michael, and Chi. Waited for awhile then Jonathan, Mikey, and Edward came along. The food was good haha but the iced tea was disgusting. I did some pretty silly shit with that drink and then guess what. You won't believe it. Clifford popped. RIP :( tear tear. I will always love you and miss you even though Janelle hated your guts. So after eating we had Pinkberry, walked around, and I went home. Overall, a pretty crazy day. But it was Janelle's birthday so its all good.

Oh and for the rest of the week:
Thurs: Chillen with mom and piano.
Fri: Beach trip
Saturday: Pool party with Felix's friends, haha
Sunday: WHO KNOWS :D

Okay peace!

Dark litto girl,

OMGGG I HAVE WAY TOO MUCH MELANIN IN MY SKIN.
I swear every second I spend in the skin makes me one shade darker so that I'm semi-black. Practice was craaaaazy today. We went over every step in the first dance. But today was alright. Drew self portraits in art and had some good conversation.

"You live if you worry, you die if you worry. So why worry?"
truedattttt!

Oh and my camera is finally fixed and hopefully it doesn't break again. My mom spend two hundred to get it fixed (2 times)! Whattheheck. Coulda gotten a completely new one with that moola. So i'm excited for Thursday cause I'm gonna get to see Kevin Faggot! Haven't seen that boy in forever and we're gonna see Batman. Well we better cause he always flakes "[ but i love him.

1. tsktsk! all i have to say.
2. Sometimes, I don't know how to act around you.
3. Really glad we're talking again.

back into place,

yessss finally.
i'm actually pretty happy now which is good. stupid shit still there, but i'm growing out of it. today was a goooood day and wow i really can't make up my mind anymore! about anything. had drill today and it was chill. played jigalo, however you spell that shit. but i'm all sweaty and disgusting. and hungry too! good thing i have leftover dumplings (yum!), mint chocolate chip ice cream, and hot cheeto puffs. duuuuude i'm gonna gain weight. no good. real bored, and i should be reading to kill a mockingbird but i'm way too lazy. so that's my day! oh and i drew a leprachaun picture of silas in art, but he was a bad sport and threw it away. diiiiiiiick.

my brother should go .... -___- * knock on wood, sike!

update:

well well welllllllllllllllll,
Yesterday was Gina's birthday party even though her birthdays on August 12th, haha. It was pretty fun, but I' haven't seen so many asians in a while! Good seeing a lotta people and it made me realize how much I miss middle school. Damn.

So today there's nothin to do but go out with Mom.

dang,

who woulda known?
I miss you a lot too, you know who you are!

Off to Janelles early in the morning will be back laterrrrrrrr. K peace
oh and goodmorning.

--edit-
Woke up real early, 7 ish and just put on a sweater and shorts and sandals and was outttt. Didn't even bother to fix my hair or makeup. Went to Janelle's place around 8 ish and she looked like shit, haha kidding. Well she went back to sleep and I just sat on the ground and watched old episodes of America's Next Top Model, Full House, and Gilmore Girl reruns. For three hours. Damn. Then she finally woke up around 11 and then we both got ready and went to Denny's with her mom. God damn her mom is the cutest, no joke. We had good talks about everything and I love how open she is with her mom. I mean I am close with my mom, but I don't tell her about boys or anything cause she just doesn't understand. Way to old fashioned, and I mean wayyyyy. Well after Denny's we took the bus to the mall and just wasted time. Haha went to Pinkberry and saw her husband, pretty damn cute. Then she was all PMSey and stuff cause she didn't like what she wore, high maintenance bitch -_-<3 with love. Yeah yeah met up with people later but I had to go cause my anal mother made me go grocery shopping with her. At least I got a cute shirt. Okay bye.

fakeass bitch,

^ and that's the reason I love my TruthBox.

one thing i've learned,

life definetily goes on.

-- edit

No one wants the girl who's been around the block and back.

Kay,

Watching Legally Blond, greatest movie in life. Today was weirddddd. Some people just needa chill, like furreals. Practice was good and I got even darker. Oh joy. After that, Janelle Anica and KrisBFK bussed it to Americana and we kept laughing whenever Francis laughed. It was so weird cause he looks like a little monkey. More like a mutated monkey looking duck. Idk! So my mom meets me there and she takes me to Urban to get some $tuff. Then we went to Pinkberry and Janelle saw her husband, haha. He's pretty cute gotta say. She made me go ask stupid stuff! Hahaa.
Me : " Do you guys have anymore bananas? "
Him : "Umm. We're cutting up some right now."
So we ate, talked, prank called. The usuaaaaaaaal. Then I took Anica home and then I went home. I swear my mom is so embarrassing. She thinks she's cool but she's pretty damn cute at times I guess.

So I'm reallllll dark & I'm sick and tired of all this bs. Peace.

Sunday blues,

Justkidding! Today's gonna be fun.
Lotus Festival, so pictures up later.

-- edit --------------------------------------------
Okay so I'm backkkk! Fun day, well the end was. Lotus Festival was some gayass shit. Met at Jann's house, bussed it, thought we missed the stop, walked over a hill, found out we were at the wrong park, waited for the bus, bussed it again, got there, walked, drank smoothie thingys, walked, saw Val Michael and his brother, ate gross food, walked, sat, saw Shawn and Twinkie and others, left.
Then we got to Jann's house and watched the beginning of The Grudge and all of The Grudge 2. OMG trippy shit! She made us sundaes, thankyouuuu<3 Haha um well now I'm home watching Picture this. kbye!

Back to the old days,

Funnnnnn day yesterday, absolute fun fun fun.
So beach trip was nice. I actually did get a lot done : read 2 pages of To Kill A Mockingbird under Garcia's umbrella, played Bop It half the time, had nice talks, sandy hair, tan..ner, played whale and fish with Jann in the water, ACTUALLY WENT INTO THE OCEAN AND ALMOST DIED, got darker again, had real good cheese pizza, ice cream from Coldstones, and so much more.
After we got back to school we ran to Anica's house to get Jann's stuff and Jann's mom picked us up from there. Drove to Jann's house and ran into the shower. Yeah, we showered together. Yes homo! Then got ready in like 10 minutes max, drove to the mall. We were supposed to meet up with Kevin, Ken, and Axton, but Kevin wouldn't pick up his phone. So we were just looking around and across the street Janelle thinks she spots Axton and Ken. And I'm all like 'nahhh!' So Jann calls out Axton's name and they look and wait for us to cross. So we say our nice hellos and everything and we walk to the fountain (even though I really wanted to go on the trolley) and we sat in a circle on the grass. Talked for a while, gave foot massages, and alla that good stuff. Bought Janelle a pretzel cause I am that good of a friend :) and then we decided to go to Pinkberry and Janelle spots her boyfriend. Haha so we wait in line for what seemed like hours and then she has to go to the bathroom so we wait for what seemed like another 4 hours. After Pinkberry Ken and Axton walked us to Jann's house to pick up our stuff and there we said our goodbyes and after that I dropped those two off and Ken's and we had the most awkward car ride home.. ever. Man those two are the cutest. Went home and shampooed twice and conditioned thrice.
Overall a really good day, and I really needed it.

Keep in touch with me, I need you.

must be the weather,

or just the people.

Okay day. Woke up tired as shiiiiiit. Went to school and played with gummy bears at snack and alla that good stuff. Found out that I really miss some people. Slept in the car while my mom dropped my brother off somewhere, she took me home. Thennn watched tv and ate ate ate. Haha
I've been sleeping to Death Cab for the past few days. For some reason that's the only stuff that gets me to doze. Daang things have changed, not necessarily for the better either. But I'm letting everything be the way it is.

So going out with my parents tonight, wonder what's gon happen.
Beach tomoorrow, woop dee doo.

Life is art,

Getty Museum today!
It was basically pointless and a waste of my life, but the bus was real nice. Rollin high class or whattttt? Hahaaa, had some scary security follow us around the whole time. "Big beds!" :)

Well glad I wasn't at school today. I really need time off.
Things have been so out of order and I have no trust for anyone.Rumors are getting passed around more than mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. Jeeeeeez, someone help me.

Pizzas in the oven and i'm hungraaaay. Haven't eaten eaten in days!

No more butterflies in my stomach.

It Just Doesn't Stop,

the less I do the worse it gets.
The more I try the worse it gets.
So what's the only solution: Fucking wait my ass off.
But I can't do it with glares, whispering, and uncertainty everywhere I go.

Seriously I don't know what people want from me anymore. Just when my heart calms, there goes another 'mistake' I made. Trust no one = life motto from now on.

Good info,

I learn a lotta stuff like everyday of my life and it suprises me!
Finished all of my paintings in art which is good. Happy we have no homework whatsoever, so I have time to just chilll and think at home.

Practice was alright, but I feel myself getting darker by the second. Literally. Feel dry sweat and sunscreen all ovah. Grosssss. Mom just bought me Taco Bell. Mmmm Mexican Pizza<3 Haha and watching Monsters Inc. at the moment. That movie always makes me cry.
Well overall okay day. Course things could be better.

Oh and no. I'm not doing any better, thanks for wondering.

P.S. I Love You

Saw this with my mommy today. It was cute but she kept on making remarks like "See how they get married so young?! Now they're poor!" And I'm all like "But they're happy." And she's like "Yeah, and he died!" Ohman, she's sucha bitch :)

Okay day.
I sat on my glasses last night and didn't know they were broken til I put them on this morning and they were croooked. Hah, I'm a fool and past regretful.

Just take the time to listen,

So much has happened in the past week.
Depressed, and there's a clear reason why.

I guess you do things without thinking because you try to make yourself happy and its hard when you're trying not to hurt other people and trying to protect yourself from.. well yourself.
Things are going by faaaast and I'm not even taking the time to pay attention because my minds oblique. Doesn't matter how many tears I cry and how much I wish that I would've thought things out. Just hafta be patient and see what happens. If only we had a restart button right?
Then this would be my moment.